“Peace Within Worlds”

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INT. GARAGE – DAY

A deflated Morty – something clearly bothering him – enters the garage, Rick tinkling away at his workbench.

MORTY
Can we get out of here, Rick?

RICK
Jeez, did someone die, or did you procreate with no desire to parent?

MORTY
I don’t know, people are driving into protests a-and tourist spots, killing other people –

RICK
Oh yeah, the new season of Man vs. Car’s out.

MORTY (cont’d)
– waving Nazi and Confederate flags – i-it’s like we’re going backwards, it’s scary and depressing.

RICK
If you used the atrophying organ you call your brain, Morty, you’d see it’s a good thing when tourists die through an incident of terrorism.

MORTY
W-what?! T-that’s a horrible thing to say Rick!

RICK
If targeted locations were limited to protests, then people would associate public dissent with danger. But high-traffic recreational areas are primary “strategic” targets.

RICK (cont’d)
You can stop people from fighting for causes – e-especially ones that don’t directly affect them. But you can’t stop them from having fun.

MORTY
So what’re people supposed to do, just stop caring??

RICK
Sure. Or, y’know, just stop with all the misguided sentiment. People will react based on hypersensualized, over-reported events and nurse an irrational fear of something that’s less likely to kill them than lightning, or sharks, or sharknadoes. And politicians will take advantage of that fear to increase their hold onto power and throw money at “security initiatives” which have zero effect except to make their own dicks hard, addressing symptoms instead of the cause.

RICK (cont’d)
And if you actually looked, you’d see global terrorism itself is a symptom of a bigger problem. L-like when select groups of a species get to experience a level of comfort so excessive that being too fat and sitting too much literally kills them while other groups struggle for basic survival –

RICK (cont’d)
But in the overall sequence of evolution for the species, it’s beneficial, Morty, i-it helps speed things up. “Violence won’t silence” and all that fun shit.

MORTY
But what about all the people who die – a-and their families?

RICK
Incidental to the main point. That’s the definition of collateral damage.

Morty knows what Rick is – and this is one of the times when he’s just so sick of it.

MORTY
And how is someone supposed to do that, Rick? How can it possibly get easy to see people a-as expendable??

RICK
It’s called alcohol and other various sedatives, Morty. Now stop being a little pussy a-and do something that’ll actually accomplish some-burp-thing long-term. 1 – don’t be hyper-emotional. 2 – accept that it’s going to happen so long as there are disaffected groups. 3 – keep doing whatever it is assholes want to stop you from doing. And 4 – maybe ask yourself how you can adjust the socioeconomic environment so idiots won’t grow up with thoughts of killing you to begin with.

RICK (cont’d)
Now if you really care, Morty, let’s keep calm… and go get some motherfucking ice cream! Yeahh!

Rick runs out of the garage whooping, fists in the air.

Morty stands stunned, unblinking.

Then runs after him – with just a hint of a smile.

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